When grief interferes with daily life, grief counseling can provide the guidance and tools needed to help you begin the healing journey. Learn more here.
Let’s begin with a story that may feel familiar to you or someone you know.
Matt had always been the strong one. His friends described him as someone who could light up a room, ran marathons for fun, and never missed a family birthday.
But in 2023, everything changed. His wife, Jane, only 32, passed away after a relentless fight with ovarian cancer. Their marriage had lasted just four years.
In the months that followed, Matt barely recognized himself. He no longer left the house and lost a significant amount of weight. Additionally, his sleep came in fragments, his appetite vanished, and the man who once embraced life now avoided even the most casual conversations. He also felt constantly exhausted, sad, angry, and alone.
Even surrounded by supportive friends and family, Matt’s symptoms remained just as intense, keeping him trapped in his grief more than a year later.
Grief is a natural, albeit painful, response to loss. It affects everyone differently, often bringing emotional, physical, and lifestyle changes that can impact mental health, social interactions, and daily routines.
For most, the intensity of grief gradually fades and becomes easier to manage. Research suggests that many bereaved individuals begin to notice some relief in their symptoms after about six months. But for others—like Matt—the pain lingers, making it difficult to function or live a normal life.
When grief becomes overwhelming or interferes with daily life for an extended period, grief counseling can provide the guidance and tools needed to help individuals navigate the darkness of loss and begin the journey toward healing.
But how does grief counseling work, what can you expect, and who can truly benefit from this kind of support? Read on to find out!
What Is Grief Counseling?
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), “grief can be caused by many things, such as the death of a loved one, losing a job, getting divorced, or going through other major life changes.”
Grief counseling, also known as bereavement counseling, is professional psychotherapy offered to help individuals cope with the emotional and psychological challenges that arise after a significant loss or life transition.
This loss may stem from the death of a spouse, parent, child, friend, or beloved pet; the end of a meaningful relationship; a miscarriage; the loss of independence due to chronic illness or injury; or even the emotional upheaval that follows events like home foreclosure or job loss.
For this blog post, we’ll focus specifically on grief counseling related to the loss of a loved one.
The purpose of grief counseling is to offer a safe, judgment-free, confidential environment where individuals can explore their thoughts, process complex feelings, and begin to make sense of their world after a life-altering change. It helps them manage the mental, physical, and emotional toll of grief and supports them in developing healthy coping mechanisms to live a meaningful life moving forward.
Generally, most people engage in grief counseling through one-on-one sessions with a licensed therapist, psychologist, or counselor.
Others may benefit from participating in support groups where they can connect with others going through the different stages of grief feelings introduced by Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book On Death and Dying, including:
- Denial: A state of shock or disbelief, where it may be difficult to accept the reality of the loss.
- Anger: The realization of the loss sets in, often leading to frustration or resentment, which may be directed at oneself, others, or the circumstances of the loss.
- Bargaining: Attempting to reverse the loss through “if only” thoughts or hypothetical negotiations (e.g., “If only I had done this differently…”).
- Depression: Intense sadness, withdrawal, and low energy. This stage is often the most emotionally taxing and toughest to get through.
- Acceptance: Coming to terms with the loss and starting to rebuild life around it.
It’s important to note that not everyone experiences all five stages, and they may not occur in this exact order. Each stage can last anywhere from a few days to several months—or longer—depending on the individual and the nature of their loss.
What Happens During Grief Counseling?
The first session of grief counseling often lays the groundwork for your healing journey. This initial conversation gives your counselor the chance to understand who you’ve lost, the nature of your relationship, how the loss occurred, how it’s affecting your daily life, and more.
You’ll be encouraged to talk about what you’re feeling—whether that includes sadness, numbness, anger, confusion, or guilt.
The grief counselor’s role in this stage is to listen attentively, ask thoughtful questions, and create a non-judgmental space where you feel safe to express even your most vulnerable emotions.
As trust builds between you and your therapist, your sessions may evolve to include:
- Open discussions about the person who died, including memories, emotions, and unfinished conversations—topics that loved ones may avoid out of discomfort or fear of making you upset.
- Exploration of complex emotions, such as regret, resentment, relief, or blame, which are common and valid but often difficult to process alone.
- Processing trauma associated with sudden or violent deaths, including intrusive memories or anxiety.
- Tackling practical disruptions to life caused by grief, such as difficulties at work, financial stress, or new parenting challenges.
- Restoring daily structure, including healthy routines around sleep, meals, exercise, journaling, or mindfulness, which can support emotional stability.
- Setting achievable, personalized goals—whether that means rejoining social circles, returning to work, or simply making it through the next week.
- Creating personal rituals of remembrance, such as writing letters to the deceased, assembling memory boxes, or volunteering in their honor.
- Rediscovering meaning and identity, as you begin to rebuild your sense of self without the person who’s gone.
Each session adds to the emotional foundation laid in the previous one, gradually moving you from immobilizing pain toward resilience, perspective, and renewed purpose.
Therapeutic Techniques Used in Grief Counseling
Grief counselors rely on a variety of evidence-based methods to help individuals understand their emotional responses and work through the pain of loss..
Some of the most widely used and effective therapeutic approaches include:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT is often used to identify and change thought patterns that worsen grief, such as guilt, self-blame, or catastrophizing. By challenging these beliefs, individuals can reduce emotional suffering and regain a healthier perspective.
- Group Therapy Group settings offer a space to connect with others who understand your pain firsthand, offering validation, insight, and a reminder that healing doesn’t have to happen in solitude. Other group members progress can also be a source of inspiration.
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): This method encourages people to accept their painful thoughts and emotions as natural responses to loss rather than trying to suppress them, while committing to actions that support their healing, goals, and values.
- Art Therapy: Non-verbal expression through drawing, painting, or music can allow grief to surface in ways that words can’t always access. This can be especially useful for children or individuals who struggle to articulate their emotions.
- Mindfulness practices like breathing exercises, body scans, meditation, and mindful journaling are often introduced to help calm the nervous system, anchor you in the present, and reduce anxiety tied to loss or fear of the future.
When Should Someone Consider Grief Counseling?
There’s no “right” timeline for when a person should seek grief counseling. Whether it’s been two months or several years since your loss, reaching out for support is OK at any stage of the grieving process.
That said, there are certain signs that may suggest it’s time to speak with a trained professional. These signs—similar to what Matt, whom we mentioned earlier, experienced—can include:
- Ongoing, overwhelming sadness or emotional numbness that doesn’t ease after six to twelve months
- Trouble returning to your regular routine or responsibilities within that same timeframe
- Disrupted sleep or appetite, or neglecting basic self-care
- Avoiding reminders of the person who passed, feeling consumed by memories, or finding it hard to recall joyful moments with them
- A diminished sense of self or identity
- Pulling away from social connections or activities you once enjoyed
- Strained relationships with loved ones that used to feel strong
- Persistent feelings of guilt, anger, or hopelessness
- Panic attacks, chronic anxiety, thoughts of self-harm, or wanting to be with the person who died
- A sense of being emotionally “stuck” or unable to envision life without the dead person
When these symptoms interfere with your day-to-day life, including your relationships, work, or caring for yourself, professional grief support will be beneficial.
A 2017 study published in Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy found that those who engaged in grief counseling experienced fewer long-term psychological symptoms. This points to the lasting benefits therapy can offer during bereavement.
Beyond easing immediate emotional pain, grief counseling can help you build healthy coping mechanisms, gain a clearer understanding of your emotions, and begin to accept the loss. It also supports maintaining a meaningful connection with your loved one while helping you find a way to continue with your life.
Struggling With Loss? Fortified Souls’ Certified Grief Counselors Can Help
Grief doesn’t follow a timeline. Even years after a loss, waves of emotion can surface unexpectedly. While this is a natural part of the healing process, it may help to talk to a trained grief counselor if you or your loved ones feel stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure how to move forward.
At Fortified Souls, a trusted Pittsburgh-based mental health practice, we offer compassionate, evidence based grief counseling through secure, HIPAA-compliant telehealth services. Our virtual sessions provide personalized support, allowing you to process your loss in a way that fits your needs—all from the privacy of your home, anywhere in Pennsylvania.
If you’re ready to take the next step, call 412-532-8352, email emily [at] fortifiedsouls.com, or complete our online contact form to schedule a free consultation. One of our experienced grief counselors will walk you through how we can work together to help you adjust and find stability after the loss of a loved one.
Most major health insurance plans, including Optum, Aetna, United Healthcare, Highmark, and Geisinger, cover our grief counseling services.
If you’re located outside of Pennsylvania, we encourage you to reach out to your primary care doctor or a local mental health professional for guidance in finding a qualified grief counselor near you.
